Christ Our Comfort

Having counseled folks in the past, whether as a youth director or just as a friend, I've heard a lot of people say things like, "I'd talk to so-and-so, but they just can't relate to me. They don't understand." This is oftentimes followed up with, "I want to talk to someone who won't judge me."

People deal with significant problems, frequently incredibly embarrassing and shameful, almost every day. Sometimes these problems are habitual, and people wish to stop. They need help, and they want the best they can find. Others are simply unsure whether or not action, 'x' is wrong. It might be somewhat socially taboo, but they know that doesn't make it "wrong." They too want help.

Thus, they seek out people who will relate to them without judging them. This makes a lot of sense. When we need help, we want to find a friend, parent, pastor, counselor, who can understand what we're dealing with - emotionally, mentally, physically, even spiritually and socially - without gossiping about us, ostracizing us, or holding our mistakes against us.

However, I've seen problems in the way many people define "relate" and "judge." Many people, when they say, "I need someone who can relate to my situation," mean, "I want someone who has done that, is doing it, or has come really close." In other words, they want someone who has failed or is failing in just the same way. They want a peer, not a superior.

Furthermore, in saying, "I don't want to be judged," people tend to mean, "I don't want to be told I'm wrong, or at the most, I want the news sugarcoated." They want whatever the incident is to be defined more as an inconvenience or shortcoming, rather than a wrongdoing or -gasp! - sin.

These poor definitions seem to have two flawed presuppositions underlining them. First is the assumption that a "superior" (i.e. one who has not succumbed to the same problem) cannot "relate" to me. While not everyone struggles and fails in the same way, we are "all made of the same dirt," as my mother is keen to say. I do not hold a monopoly on problems, failures, or even sins. While my experience will inevitably be different from whoever I seek for counsel, it will not be entirely foreign to them.

Plus, "perfection" by no means implies inability to relate, either. I will show you what I mean in a minute.

The second presupposition is that we tend to assume that overall, what we do is OK. We have an amazing ability to justify our own failures that we would quickly condemn in others. Thus, when someone tells us that we are wrong in doing something, this cuts to our soul. It rattles our very worldview and self-understanding. This causes us to throw around the term, "Judging," where it does not apply at all. It is not judgmental to say that, 'x', is wrong. It is judgmental to say that you ought to be ostracized, flogged, or immediately condemned to Hell, because you have done, 'x.'

The biggest problem with all of this, however, is what these presuppositions say about Christ. Jesus our Lord is the ultimate counselor and comforter, and He often brings us peace and hope through the Counselor Himself, the Holy Spirit. Hebrews 4:5 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses." In other words, Jesus can relate to us. Notice the end of the verse, however. "... but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin."

Thus, Jesus is the ultimate counselor, but He is also the ultimate superior. Jesus has not been there, done that. However, He has been tempted. He understands our trials and struggles, but He has never succumbed to sin. Therefore, the best counselor and helper of all time, is also one who has never failed in the ways we do. If we think that we can only be helped by those who have walked in our shoes, then will we even go to Christ for help?

Furthermore, Jesus is the Judge (James 5:9). As the Creed says, "He [Jesus] sits at the right hand of the Father, from whence He shall come to judge the quick [living] and the dead." Not only does He have the right to say that action, 'x', is wrong, He has the authority to condemn us or pardon us. In fact, He has been very clear about many actions, thoughts, motives, and even feelings, being wrong and sinful, and one day, He will separate the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25:31-46).

The point of all this is to show that Divine Counselor and Helper is the complete opposite of what we seem to ask for, when we seek counsel. If we only look for someone who has walked in our shoes or who will not say we're wrong, then will we ever go to Jesus at all? Christ hasn't sinned like we have, and He will never excuse our sinful behavior.

And yet, He is the only one who can give us true peace (Philippians 4:6-7), deliverance and forgiveness (1 John 1:9).

How intriguing and counterintuitive!

I think this is worth pondering next time we need help. We need more than what we think. Praise the Lord that He was the wonderful tendency to give us more than what we ask for!