Kazakhstani News -- News You Can Trust?

Every morning, I look for news about submarines on the web; usually, if there's something important that's happened, there will be several stories from various news sources. Sometimes, though, there's something that's only single sourced, so I have to decide if it's likely true and worth the time to blog about it. Normally, I'll type up the post as I'm researching.

Today was such a day. My quick Google search had one article from Kazinform, which is some sort of news agency (or maybe just a web site) serving Kazakhstan, about an accident in a Japanese shipyard on one of their Japan's new Soryu-class submarines where 5 people were hurt. The article says that Kazinform got the report from ITAR-TASS; however, that Russian news agency doesn't have anything on their English-language website yet. Nor was there any mention in a Japanese news website. So, I'm left with the decision -- do I let my readers know about a potential submarine news item of interest, or do I not waste their time?

As it turns out, my blogging ended up being driven by the realization that I have to leave for work in 15 minutes. The bottom line -- some people may or may not have been hurt in a Japanese shipyard working on a submarine. If so, I hope they're OK. The Sub Report will have any updated information probably way before I do.

Update 1819 10 July: Edited the 2nd paragraph above to correct an unfortunate pronoun inconsistency. It looks like, in this case, the Kazakhstani news source was correct; here's confirmation of the incident from a Japanese paper. Apparently, 5 shipyard workers were shocked during a battery test.

Five shipyard workers were treated for burns Wednesday after receiving an electric shock while working inside a submarine docked at a pier in Hyogo Ward, Kobe, police said.
The five employees of Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Ltd.'s Kobe Shipyard and Machinery Works were in a machinery room of the Maritime Self-Defense Force submarine Soryu when the incident occurred at about 7:20 a.m.
They were sent to hospital to receive treatment for burns to their faces and hands...
...According to the police and the shipyard, a series of electrical battery tests that commenced on Tuesday night was still under way in the machinery room at the time of the incident. One of the five workers mishandled a cable carrying a 500-volt current, causing a battery to release an atmospheric discharge that inflicted an electric shock on all five workers.

Ouch!

AP: You're Miserable, Vote Obama!

As predicted, a slew of negative editorials masquerading as news are being pumped out by the AP, telling us how miserable and depressed we all are, but how voting Obama will make it all better.

Back then I wrote:

This is part of a pattern: make everyone miserable from a diet of negative reporting, then dangle salvation, the Obamamessiah who will make everyone love us again.

But what follows is hardly even "reporting"!

What makes it even more pathetic is The Onion wrote the same stories months ago that the AP is now publishing!

For example, for the 4th of July celebration of Independence Day, we were treated to this headline:

Americans' unhappy birthday: 'Too much wrong'

Happy birthday, America? This year, we're not so sure.

The nation's psyche is battered and bruised, the sense of pessimism palpable. Young or old, Republican or Democrat, economically stable or struggling, Americans are questioning where they are and where they are going. And they wonder who or what might ride to their rescue.

Why Obama of course!

The report is full of a litany of complaints and anecdotal quotes of doom, such as:

"There is a sense of helplessness everywhere you look. It's like you're stuck in one spot, and you can't do anything about it."

A previous AP "report" from June 21 on an identical theme provided more direct "advice" on how to fight the despair, with the laughably alarmist headline:

Everything seemingly is spinning out of control

WASHINGTON - Is everything spinning out of control?

Midwestern levees are bursting. Polar bears are adrift. Gas prices are skyrocketing. Home values are abysmal. Air fares, college tuition and health care border on unaffordable. Wars without end rage in Iraq, Afghanistan and against terrorism.

Horatio Alger, twist in your grave.

The can-do, bootstrap approach embedded in the American psyche is under assault.

Helpfully, the report continues,

American University historian Allan J. Lichtman notes that the U.S. has endured comparable periods and worse, including the economic stagflation (stagnant growth combined with inflation) and Iran hostage crisis of 1980; the dawn of the Cold War, the Korean War and the hysterical hunts for domestic Communists in the late 1940s and early 1950s; and the Depression of the 1930s.

"All those periods were followed by much more optimistic periods in which the American people had their confidence restored," he said. "Of course, that doesn't mean it will happen again."

Each period also was followed by a change in the party controlling the White House.

Otherwise, unless the Democrats are put in charge, expect a Great Unraveling:

Surely people know how to fix problems now.

Maybe. And maybe this is what the 21st century will be about — a great unraveling of some things long taken for granted.

This might be taken more seriously if not for a piece by parody news site The Onion, which back on May 14 wrote:

Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together

WASHINGTON—Officials from the Institute for Somehow Managing to Hold It All Together warned that, despite their best efforts, everything appears to be falling completely apart and "getting way out of hand," according to a strongly worded report characterized by panic, frustration, and numerous typographical errors that was released to the American public Monday.

"The country today faces a number of pressing issues, including potential economic collapse, the continued threat of global warming, and the decaying national infrastructure," ISMHIAT chairman Kenneth Branowicz said during a press conference to announce the study's findings. "And we just can't keep it together anymore."
...
The report outlines a number of disturbing trends, such as a steadily weakening dollar, skyrocketing national debt, the car still being in the shop after three whole weeks, a polarized electorate that remains divided across ideological lines, and the fact that the wife is staying at her sister's and for all they know may not ever be coming back.

"In summary, we have no choice but to accept that managing these complex and varied crises may be untenable at this time," the report concludes. "We're in way over our heads here, people. Oh God. God. What are we going to do?"

The institute, a nonpartisan Washington think tank formed in 1933 by President Franklin D. Roosevelt as part of his Depression-era For God's Sake, Somebody Do Something Initiative, has issued similarly dramatic warnings in the past. In 1953, ISMHIAT released the now-historic findings on how they had talked and talked until they were blue in the face but they'd had it with these damn teenagers today. And historians still cite its famous 1968 report, a rambling, semi-coherent study titled "The Hell If We Know," recommending the immediate nationwide throwing up of hands.

This latest warning, however, could be the most alarming and desperate to date.
...
Dr. Thomas Dyers, of the National Blame Allocation Council, echoed Klemper's statements, stating that if the ISMHIAT cannot handle its responsibilities, its duties should be turned over to another organization, such as the Federal Fall Guy Bureau, under the supervision of Ed Haversham, the national Scapegoat Czar.

AP, stop plagiarizing The Onion!

Happy Independence Day!

In honor of our country's 232nd birthday, here's a picture from back in 2002 of the raising of the Navy Jack on USS Salt Lake City (SSN 716):

Everyone have a good time today, but remember the old saying: "He who has a fifth on the 4th will not come forth on the 5th."

Man Overboard!

A comment by XCOB in the previous post got me thinking about people falling off submarines while tied to the pier. While there's no doubt that going overboard is very dangerous when the boat's underway, and can be dangerous when moored, I was thinking more of the humorous inadvertent dunkings. Here's my favorite:

On the morning of the first deployment of the good ship USS Topeka (SSN 754) in August 1992, we had a new guy reporting to the boat straight from "A" School. He basically checked into Squadron that morning, and sent him right over to the boat to go on the deployment. (This had all been worked out in advance.) He comes down the gangplank carrying his seabag with everything he'll have for the deployment -- after all, this is his first time on board the boat. For some reason, he couldn't get around the sail on the starboard side (where the towed array housing gives you a place to put your right foot so you're walking basically level) and, being a NUB, he went around the port side of the sail, lost his footing, and fell into the water -- along with his seabag packed with all his belongings for the next 6 months. We fished him and his seabag out of the water, and for the first night of our underway, all of his clothes were draped over steam piping in the Engine Room. (The dryer broke down as it started on first load of the run, as is normal on LA-class submarines.)

Can anyone top that?

SPRUCE For Scranton

There's one acronym that, even more than ORSE, fills a submariner with fear and loathing -- SPRUCE.

A "Scheduled PReservation Upkeep Coordinated Effort" (Vol. VI, Chap. 27 of the JFMM refers) is a 14 day period when submariners can pretend that they're professional painters who don't get paid as much as real painters. All Ship's Force work other than that necessary for safety and security are stopped so the whole crew can paint the ship. That's the theory, anyway -- but everyone knows that the various reports and whatnot are still required off the boat, so you see most XOs and YNs sneaking off to do all that work they're not supposed to have to be doing.

USS Scranton (SSN 756) is just starting their SPRUCE:

To the officers and men of the Scranton: Remember, although you might find yourself thinking that an "accidental" needle gun incident might be a good way to get 14 days worth of convalescent leave, it's really not worth the pain. And for the officers and men who somehow finagled a school that goes through the whole SPRUCE -- I'm looking at you, PNEOers -- you have my admiration for your excellent timing.