They're Mythkus, not haikus!
For the uninitiated, Book-a-Minute describes the Collected Works of HPL thusly:
NarratorThough I disagree with "Lame."
I will tell you about something horrific I witnessed.
(Narrator discusses MUNDANE experiences which supposedly lead up to something HORRIFIC.)
Narrator
We're almost at the horrific bit.
(Narrator talks about more stuff that might be SPOOKY if he'd only GET ON WITH IT.)
Narrator
We're very close now.
(Narrator draws it out MORE.)
Narrator
This time I swear we're just about at the horrific thing almost.
(Narrator FINALLY gets to the HORRIFIC thing which is HUGE and POWERFUL and EVIL and LAME.)
THE END
The Mythkus do a good job of summing it all up concisely too.
Some of the more amusing (especially if you get the specific story references) are:
His parents went insane
He died without a child
Last of the Lovecrafts
wall of polished glass
the monster I see is me
I, the Outsider
I thought the Elder things were bad
then I found out
what it was they feared.
In round rooms I sit
paranoid
for I know what dwells in the angles
Mighty Cthulhu
And His servants the Deep Ones
Just so much Sushi
tentacles unfold
now my fate is surely sealed
my watery grave
Many cultists dead
Smoking Machine gun in hand
Up yours Cthulhu
I wonder about
Asenath Waite's complexion
it is so pasty
Thy sibling
gorges on cattle
Why can't thee be more like thy brother?
Nightgaunts tickling me
Laughingly defenseless
They carry me away
Dearest Grandam
the sea calls so strongly
my you've grown pudgy and gilled
what waits in the mist
in that house upon the hill
my God, the voices...
Slumbers Cthulhu
only for the period
he considers wise
Dagon, sea-god,
Your worshippers spout gills
in sleepy, troubled Innsmouth.
on the ocean floor
there lies the sleeping city
rise up great R'Lyeh!
I went to Providence,
There I lost my sanity;
Howard took it.
Cthulhu awaits
Dreaming in sunken R'Lyeh
Strange Aeons must past
Arkham Graduates!
Stride with pomp and circumstance
Down the lane of madness
Perverse earth goddess
running wildly through the woods
Ia, Shub-Niggurath!
Flap of webby wings,
a hound bays in the distance.
Death has come for me.
only you and I
know the terrible truth
soon, only you
A brain in a can
Hands and face found in a chair
a costume of flesh
The stars are aligned
The ancient is now present
The end has begun
hungry village cats
gnaw evil family bones
-just feline revenge
Have you ever felt
From the dark, eyes are watching?
They are really there.
Algol, Fomalhaut
Deneb, Riga and Altair
When will you be right?
We know not their names
And yet we fear the darkness
At night, we cry out
Cthulhu sleeps
ruling our minds
with crap like this
