The Mideast Submerged Internet Cable Breaks, The USS Jimmy Carter, And The Submarine Blogger

I've been following the story of the submarine cable breaks off the coasts of Egypt and the Arabian Peninsula for the last week or so, and wondering when some conspiracy theorists would start claiming that U.S. submarines had something to do with them. Dave at The Galloping Beaver, who's written intelligently before about submarines, jumped the shark in bringing up the alleged special abilities of my old boat USS Jimmy Carter (SSN 23) in wondering if she might have been responsible for the breaks (earning a link from uber-tinfoil site WRH, which in itself is enough for realists to figure out that Dave is on the wrong track).

Here's where it gets tricky for a submarine blogger, especially one who's served on the boat in question. Even if one were to assume that Carter has any of the capabilities discussed (which I certainly don't), classification issues make it difficult to bring all your weapons to bear, so to speak, if one would like to refute the misconceptions presented in a post like that. Sure, you could bring up time/distance issues to prove that one boat couldn't have been in all these places on the dates involved. Also, assuming you knew that the Carter was pierside in Bangor recently enough that she couldn't possibly be in that part of the world, you could mention that. Anything else is problematic.

Anyway, I'll try to put something together that shows why it's very unlikely that American submarines were involved in the cable breaks over the next few days. Until then, please use caution in the comments.

Update 1046 09 Feb 2008: Well, this comment thread certainly went off topic -- not that I mind, because I enjoy the free flow of information exchange between all submariners. For those interested, my promised "analysis" of the cable issue is here.